The 30 Most Douchebag Things One Can Do

1. Vlog.
2. Tweet.
3. Eat healthy.
4. Use your phone at the gym.
5. Use a blackberry.
6. Eat Greek Yogurt.
7. Substitute ingredients in a baking recipe (or any recipe for that matter).
8. Add an ingredient and call something your own.
9. Spend an obscene amount of money on a camera when you don't know dick about photography.
10. Spontaneously become obsessed with sports to garner attention.
11. Use words like hot mess and funemployment.
12. Fail at being a Grammar Nazi.
13. Pretend to read.
14. Genuinely enjoy fiber.
15. Bake in a dress and heels.
16. Use the word foodie.
17. Meet internet weirdos.
18. Run a 5k.
19. Drink almond milk.
20. Shop at Whole Foods.
21. Drink wine and or champagne.
22. Attempt to be Southern something when you are clearly not and have no obligation to do so.
23. Eat sushi.
24. Review restaurants via recording. You are not Anthony Bourdain.
25. Buy into Southern fashion.
26. Wear silly bandz.
27. Contradict yourself on a regular basis.
28. Think the people at Chickfila worship you.
29. Pretend to be a nutritionist.
30. Describe one's self as "Spunky individual with a penchant for culinary delights . . . "

What things are on your list? Did I miss anything?

Leave your interesting or sassy comments in the section below, and as always, stay sassy my friends.

Love, The Oat