Hungry Meets Whorish

I already banged all the guys at my gym. Time to move on.

    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
    New gym = new meat
   

Dialects Are Interesting

However, speech impediments are even more interesting! Lithps are tho thathy!

Also, using commercially licensed music on youtube is thuper thathy!

Things This Oat Does Not Understand

1. How the fuck is it that people take time out of their busy schedule to blog regularly? Is it for the attention? Is it a release? Although it is enjoyable, this oat just can not do it.

2. How on Earth could give two shits about flax seeds? I mean, they are fucking terrible. Oats are obviously superior.

3. Knowing the fate of the Titanic, why would one use the measurement scale of 1 - Titanic? Seems to me like Titanic should be absolute zero. This scale is completely retarded.

4. How could one who claims to live a healthy life end up sick for any period longer than a few days? This seems especially stupid to me.

5. How could one make a post about annoying people on Facebook without realizing that they are exactly that type of person?

This final one is just a bonus. It is something I have talked about before and still don't understand. Why would a person with no culinary knowledge go and alter a recipe replacing key ingredients with others that will not produce the same end? I think I just answered my question.

What are some things you guys don't understand?

Like OMG

So like I was totes driving down the highway today texting on phone as I usually do and some jerkoff honks at me. My left hand was occupied with my phone so I took my other hand off the wheel to give him the finger. It turns out that wasn't such a good idea. It totes caused a pileup and killed a bunch of children but whatever. That guy deserved it. There is NOTHING wrong texting and driving. I mean its not like drinking and driving or anything. Well seeing as how I already had my phone out anyway I decided I'd take a pic of the wreck for you guys.

Sassy!!!

I Can Totes Relate To You

From: The Oat
To: Beth
Date: Sunday April 3 2011
Subject: Let's meet

Dear Beth,

I can totes relate to you. I too hate my birthday because I look so old. Then again I also hate my birthday because I usually spend it single. I too want to be a housewife. I too love New York. I too have a little Jew inside me (that's a  dirty joke). I too enjoy making terrible bird food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Oats are my favorite! If you ever want to hang out or anything and you're in my area you should totes give me a shout out!

Love,

The Oat

From: Beth
To: The Oat
Date: Monday April 4 2011
Subject: Re: Let's meet

Contradictions Pt. II

I recently found out that the words "nom nom" and "sammich" are now recognized as words by the Oxford English Dictionary. This totes me angry that I had to blog about it. I'm sitting here looking like a totes hot mess when I could be looking totes fab and reading up on foodie stuff but I just had to make this post.